"Late" reading and encouraging their passions

Noah is what many consider a "late" reader. He was a very late talker so it stands to reason that he would be a "late" reader. (Believe it or not he had a very severe speech delay.) I say it that way because I really don't believe there is any such thing as a "late" reader. Everyone learns at their own pace and while you can "make" someone "do reading" (or math or whatever) you can't really make them learn and trying to force it may just cause more harm than good. I know this because I've done a LOT of research on it (being the voracious reader that I am 😉) but also because I had other children who were "late readers" (As well as "early" and "average" ones, too.) and I was a "late" reader myself. One of my "late readers" I forced reading on (drill, drill, drill) because that was what "good" homeschool moms do. You might teach a kid to read that way after much pain to both of you but it's not a good way to make them Iove reading. In fact it's a good way to make them hate reading. 😢 And to a person who would just as soon give up food and air as give up books, if I have a choice I will take a child who reads "late" but learns to love it over one who reads "on time" but hardly ever does so. So when my next "late reader" came along I didn't push or drill. I just read books aloud as much as possible and I utilized lots of audiobooks, too. I'd try the phonics and reading every so often and see if it was "clicking", then go on reading to them. Eventually this child learned to read, almost overnight and almost by magic (it was in one summer, actually) - after practically memorizing books such as the entire Narnia series, The Hobbit and LOTR. They became a voracious reader who reads more than anyone I know - even me. Easily several books a weeks. Thank God for my Kindle Unlimited subscription; it saves me some money. It was really satisfying seeing that I was right all along and that my "method" was not only right for my child but was "successful" beyond my wildest dreams. "Mom I need a book" are the sweetest words to my ears. I never say no.

So when reading wasn't "clicking" with Noah I knew I would follow the path I took with his "late reading" sibling who loves to read and nor the other one, who doesn't. Lots of reading aloud and lots of audiobooks. (Thank God for Audible.) We'd try phonics and reading from time to time but until recently it was going right over his head. What he did in the phonics lesson one day he simply didn't remember the next. More reading aloud and we'll try again later. One day not long ago I found him looking at a pile of picture books; that were strewn all over the floor. He looked up at me with the sweetest look of contentment on his face and said, "Mom, I just love books SO MUCH!" My heart did a summersault and I said, "Thank you, God!" I knew I was on the right path, despite what others may think.

Things are finally starting to click with him and his reading is coming along well. We work on it regularly and I predict that he'll be reading voraciously very soon. But in the meantime he still loves listening to me read to him and that's how we spend most of our "school" time. He also still loves to listen to audiobooks on his Kindle Fire and iPod and generally does so for several hours a day, as he always has. For a kid who "can't read" he's always listened to books more than most kids who can. More than most adults, in fact.

Like his older brothers he especially likes to listen to certain ones over and over until he's practically memorized them. His favorite "subject" is Greek Mythology and he can talk your ear off for HOURS about it. (He adores Percy Jackson and D'Aulaire's Greek Myths.) I was telling Vincent Le Goff​ how it's cool that Noah knows so much about it and loves it so much, even though I didn't "teach" it to him or "make" him learn it. I didn't even suggest it and it's not a "school subject" we've done. I just bought him a kindle, gave him my old iphone and keep him supplied with books via Audible. (Vincent and I love to talk about education and he's Noah's biggest fan outside the family. 😊)

Vincent said he doesn't know much about Greek mythology and would like to learn more and wondered if Noah would be willing to tutor him. 😊 When I told Noah this he was ecstatic! He immediately put the book he was currently listening to on hold and began listening to PJ again to "prepare" for tutoring Vincent. He takes his job very seriously. He's had a few sessions with Vincent so far and they both seem to be enjoying the arrangement immensely. (We all enjoy Noah having someone else to "share" with. 😉) He even brought the Disney movie Hercules for his movie night tonight to reinforce the lessons. He told me that Vincent is a wonderful student because he not only listens attentively but he "asks lots of questions" as well. (Hint, Mom.)

For a kid who was severely delayed in talking as a young child Noah talks a LOT. All the time! I know that can drive people crazy sometimes. Siblings, every adult or kid he sees. It drives me crazy sometimes, too, being the introvert that I am who Just. Needs. Quiet. So. I. Can. Think. But I try to listen as much as I can because I know that people don't just (or even mostly) learn by being "taught things" but by pursuing their passions and interests and then sharing them with others. That's what I see as my real job as a homeschool mom. Sharing my interests and passions with them, setting an example as a person who is always learning new things and pursuing knowledge and skills, helping them discover their own passions and interests, giving them the tools and opportunities they need to do so (books, pets, riding lessons, hobbies, movies, experiences) and then letting THEM teach me what they find so interesting and exciting, even if I don't always feel as enthusiastic as they do. 😉 I'm not great at it because if anything my biggest fault is getting too caught up in my own interests and things I'm not interested in make my eyes glaze over, but I try very hard.

Vincent is one of the rare individuals who sees the value in that last part, and who embraces it wholeheartedly. For that Vincent, Noah and I thank you so much. I know you are studying education so that you can help and "teach" others. But you see, you are already doing just that. 😀

Hands Free is not for me!

I have not written on this blog in years but it's about time I did! This is a great place to start, I think. I came across an interesting blog called Hands Free Mama. At first I loved it, but upon reading more I was not so sure. I think she has a lot of important things to say and I respect her decisions for her family. I think she's encouraging a lot of women and means well, but there was just a bit of a feeling of "the mommy wars" on reading more on her blog - particularly in the comments. I just don't think there is a "one size fits all" approach to mothering, even when it comes to technology. And she and 99% of her followers are not homeschool moms, so they have a whole different lifestyle and perspective than we do. It's a lot harder (an more unnecessary) to do as she advocates when you don't have 6-7 hours of free time while your kids are in school to get your technology fix. She doesn't advocates NO technology time - - especially since she's a blogger - just that we use it only when our kids are not around. That's about impossible for a homeschool mom! Anyway, this is what I posted on her blog, and I've decided that I'm NOT going "hands free", after all! Enjoy: I think there are some wonderful gems of insight and advice in what you have to say and I applaud you for both your decision to change your and your family's life and for encouraging others. BUT I think both your blog and the comments could be yet another version of "the mommy wars" and could heap even more guilt on some already overburdened moms. I don't think that's your intent at all, but it could feel that way to some women - and some of the comments from your readers, especially, sound a bit "holier-than-thou". We each have different and very individual lives and to make assumptions about others who you see briefly in public is ludicrous. So you see a mom on her phone for 5 minutes or even an hour and you automatically label her "bad mom" - assuming she always "ignores" her kids and loves her "gadgets" more than them? Shame on you! How hypocritical. Maybe, like me, she's a homeschool mom whose six kids don't or didn't even go to school at all. Maybe this mom is with her kids 24/7 and spends 4-6 hours a day homeschooling them, including a couple hours a day just reading aloud quality literature to them. Instead of public or private school PE, extra-curricular classes and field trips this mom may be part of a homeschool co-op where the parents run the weekly PE class and arrange and conduct the field trips and extra classes. She doesn't have the luxury of all that uninterrupted time while her kids are in school to have her "technology time" - to work, catch up on emails, make phone calls and yes, even to take a few minutes to read blogs like this or connect with friends and family on Facebook. The busy homeschooling mom doesn't get out to a job every day so FB can be our hangout, water cooler, lunch date, "teacher's lounge" or whatever. And also, like me, she may be a military wife with parents and siblings in one state, grown kids and grandkids in another, and herself, her husband and their younger kids in yet another. That just may be her oldest daughter whom she loves and hasn't seen in a year that she's talking or texting to, or new pictures of her grandbaby she's looking at on Facebook. Or maybe she's talking to her mother, whom she hasn't seen in four years, or her best friend, who moved to Puerto Rico two years ago and the ONLY way they can connect is through FB or email, while living in vastly different time zones, no less. Maybe she's texting her teenaged son about something important or her pre-teen daughter, to check on her. Or maybe she's emailing or talking to her husband who's on deployment in Iraq - or sending him pictures of their 4 month old child, whom he hasn't even met yet. All of those have been me, at one time or another, and it's insulting that someone might happen by me for a brief moment of my life and judge me as a "bad mom" for being on my iPhone. And maybe this "bad mom" even has a part-time job, or other important responsibilities - volunteer or church positions, kids' activities to coordinate - and maybe there are important emails to answer, notes to take down on her iPad, appointments to schedule in her calendar on her phone, a checkbook register to balance on the phone, homeschool planning to do, dinner menus to prepare, books to read on her Kindle app, shopping to do - the list is endless... And maybe, rather than take away from "homeschool time" or "family time" or whatever, she chooses to use little snatches of time here and there throughout the day to get the same "work" done that moms whose kids go to school get 6-7 hours of uninterrupted time to do. A few minutes "plugged in" while in the doctors office or while standing in line does NOT mean this mom always ignores her kids. And instead of taking little snippets of "quality time" with her kids while waiting at the doctors this mom is spending lots of "quantity time" with her kids every day, all day, which IS quality time, too. So who is the better mom - the one who puts away her iPhone to spend "quality time" with her kids after they've been away at school for 6 hours, or the one sitting in the doctor's office on her iPhone, after she just spent 6 hours homeschooling her kids? Neither is better! They both are the best mom for their kids, and when and how they use technology is a very individual decision. Work or don't work, breast or bottle, homeschool or public school, hands-free or not - it's all the same to me - a way to judge ourselves against other women and make ourselves feel better because we're not like them. And please, don't get me started on sporting events! My youngest daughter competed in gymnastics for three years, until I realized how ridiculous it was. You can drive 6 hours each way, stay in a hotel overnight and spend 1o -12 hours at a gymnastics meet, only to watch YOUR child compete for less that 10 minutes total! Even to watch your child's entire team takes under an hour. The truth is that 99% of the kids are only there to make the other kids look good and everyone is bored out of their minds, kids included. I only wish I'd had my iPhone when my daughter was competing and when I realized what a joke and colossal waste of time "team sports" are I pulled her out. It was the best decision we ever made. Same story, different sport with little league, and now we use that time for FAMILY time, but I digress.... Everyone here is reading this blog and the comments - maybe on a computer or maybe on an iPhone. "Making a living" - or just expressing your creativity - by blogging for one person may result in someone else "wasting time" reading your blog! We all "waste time" sometimes, just like we all have legitimate needs for technology. And sometimes a little "wasting time" on Facebook or reading blogs IS a legitimate need. WHEN we use that technology is up to us, and no one should judge us for it, since they don't know what our life entails. You might just look derisively at a mom "glued to her iPhone" out in public, as you rush home to see the latest episode of "your show" - or shows - on TV. I'm probably the only person in America who has never seen one single episode of "American Idol" or "Dancing With the Stars". I could not pick Simon - whoever he is - out of a line up, and if you ask me if I've "seen that new commercial" the answer will always be no, unless I walked by when my husband was watching TV. I don't watch TV - ever. I love a good movie, but TV - forget it! Does that make me better than you? No! It just means we have different priorities and needs. And I might need to be on my iPhone in public just as much as my husband "needs" to zone out in front of the TV after a stressful day at work. I used to give him a really hard time about his TV habit, until I realized how hypocritical and judgemental that was. He is an intelligent, successful man, a hard worker and a great dad and husband I it's not my job to "decide" when and how he should use TV. But I appreciate the same respect from him and from others about my "technology" usage. Smart phones are NOT the bad guy! Like others have said, my parents didn't have them and they were not nearly as involved in my and my siblings lives as I am with my kids and grandkids, even with my iPhone, iPad and laptop. I hear you on the "go play" line! Or more accurately in my case, "get outside" - just a nicer way to say, "get out of my hair"! Parents have always found ways to ignore their kids - cell phones are no more "evil" than anything else. Just new and different - and maybe a bit "scary" to some people! I love technology - love my iPhone, iPad and laptop! I can tell you it's given me a LOT more time, freedom and flexibility and it's given me more time WITH my family, as well as a much needed break sometimes. And 9 times out of 10 when it rings I will NOT answer it. That's one thing that I love about my iPhone. If it rings while I'm reading to my kids or playing with my grandkids, or in the checkout line somewhere I can screen the call and ignore it if it's not urgent, knowing that when I'M ready to return the call it will only take the touch of a touchscreen to do, unlike my landline, which is a major hassle to use. I NEVER use my landline, for just that reason! And my kids love their gadgets, too. All of my kids from age 6 and up had iPods or itouches and from 10 up had cell phones. Besides being a useful tool, I get the sweetest texts from my youngest daughter, sometimes even while she's in the same room! And as a homeschooling mom I consider my kids' iTouches or my iPhone or iPad as essential tools. Besides all the ways I use them to make homeschooling planning and homemaking easier, my kids use them for all kinds of educational games, educational" music and videos, podcasts and to read and research things. And the books - oh the books! We have literally hundreds of audiobooks in my iTunes library, and my kids listen to them every single day or night (at bedtime) on their iPods. My kids have listened to books like "The Lord of the Rings" and "The Chronicals of Narnia" hundreds of times. That's largely how they learned to read - by listening to audiobooks over and over. And when they learned to read they still continued to listen for pleasure - even my 18 year old still listens to audiobooks on his iPhone every night at bedtime. And the Kindle app on their iPod Touches or iPhones (or my iPad) is nothing short of amazing. My 14 year old adores his kindle app, and prefers kindle books to paper ones - them being so portable. And so many of the really great old classic ones are free. You can't beat that! And as an avid reader who has always taken at least one book (or five!) everywhere I go I adore my Kindle of iPhone app. Now I have 50 or 500 books - for my kids and myself - in my purse at all times - and they don't weigh an ounce over the weight of my iPhone or iPad! I'll always prefer paper books, of course, and we own thousands of them, but kindle books are a very important tool in my homeschooling toolbox. And if you see my 8 year old "plugged in" to his iPod Touch listening to "Peter Pan" or my 14 year old "staring at a screen" reading "The Silmarillion" on his, why oh why would you think them somehow "inferior" to a child who is reading a paper book?! Or think me a bad parent for not being "hands free" or making my kids "hands free", as well? I do think that you have some great insight here on technology, and I respect your choices and the advice you are sharing with others, which I believe is from the heart. And I do think we all need to be aware of how we spend our time - whether it's too much time on the phone, the computer, watching TV, playing video games or whatever. We don't want to look back and feel we've wasted our lives on anything frivolous and stupid, instead of with our families and loved ones. We do need to consciously be aware of how we spend our time, and yes, even put away the cell phone, laptop, book or whatever sometimes. But hands free? I'm not so sure about that. I guess I'm too much of a rebel for that. I'm not good at following rules, especially arbitrary rules that don't make sense to ME or work for MY family. If "hands free" means that "good moms" never use their iPhones in public or never get on their computer when their kids are around then, as a Navy-wife, homeschooling mom of six and grandma of four with a part-time job working with foreign exchange students (which requires some time online, often spur of the moment) and whose kids are ALWAYS around and whose life is crazy and hectic then I guess I am destined to be a "bad" and "non-hands free" mom. I can live with that!

Dance Recital

Tonight Jamie had her dance recital with Miss Shannon. The theme was "The History of Disney" . She danced to "The Lion King" and "The Pirates of the Carribean" (as a pirate in pink!)and she was fabulous and adorable! In attendance were Dad, Mom, Ashley, Jessie, Brian, Michael and our adorable little Levi, who really seemed to enjoy the show.

This will probably be her last year doing dance since she is so busy competing in Gymnastics at United Gymnastics Academy. She got her start as a tiny two year old doing Dance and later Tumbling with Shannon but now Gymnastics is her passion and where God has gifted her so that's what she needs to concentrate on. There's only so much time in a week and even nine year olds need to prioritize. (And moms need a break!) She did enjoy being able to do one more recital with Shannon, though, and will surely miss her classes.

Brian helped with the lights and sound for the recital, which was very nice of him. He also made a delicious Curried Chicken soup that was waiting for us when we got home.

On the way to the car from the recital we all had a laugh when we saw something wrapped around Levi's foot and discovered that it was his diaper! It had somehow come off while he was still in his shorts - no wonder the poor baby had such a funny look on his face half the night ;)

I hate my computer!!!

Well, if you're wondering why I haven't posted anything on my Blog it's because my dumb computer - or more accurately, the bad internet connection we have - is giving me trouble - as usual! I've wanted to post pictures and videos of all the things the kids have been doing lately - like Jamie's performance at the Peanut Festival, Michael riding his horse, Leo, the kids at Vaulting, Noah's birthday party, etc - but since I can't stay connected long enough to upload any pictures or videos I guess I won't be able to do that anytime soon! Aaaarghhh!